Emotional intimacy is the feeling of closeness we have to another person. There is a sense of mutual understanding, sharing, and trust. When we have emotional intimacy with our partner, we feel comfortable sharing our personal feelings. We also feel safe and comfortable when displaying affection. Emotional intimacy creates an atmosphere where we do not worry about being judged or dismissed by our partner. If we have begun to feel distant from our partner we need to take steps to restore emotional intimacy.
Why emotional intimacy is important
Emotional intimacy is important for our wellbeing on many levels. When we feel anxious or afraid, reaching out to the one who is closest to us for support is an important part of coping. Our closest relationships help us feel safe and ease stress. We should also understand that a close connection does more than help us feel good emotionally and psychologically, intimacy is also beneficial for our physical health.
Emotional intimacy is also essential for the health of the relationship. When we feel close to our partner, communication flows better, conflicts are resolved easier, and our bond is strengthened.
Steps to improving emotional intimacy
A once emotionally intimate couple can lose their feeling of closeness over time. Daily life stressors, physical distance, and preoccupation with career and raising children can create distance between couples. If steps are not taken to restore emotional intimacy the distance can grow, leaving us feeling lonely and isolated. Below are three strategies that will help bring you closer together again.
1. Make it a priority to spend meaningful time together
For couples who never go out together, organizing regular date nights can be helpful. However, the quality of the date also matters, if you both are more interested in what’s happening on your phone or if your attention is only on other things (entertainment, the movie) without making time to actually connect on a deeper level your emotional intimacy will not improve. Choose activities that will not distract you from each other too much and avoid talking about the usual stressors that keep you from connecting. Make sure you keep in mind the purpose of special time together.
2. Cultivate an interest in your partner
We often think and preoccupy ourselves with our own opinions and views. Become curious about what your partner thinks and feels. This curiosity is intense at the beginning of the relationship and we may think we know everything about our partner but as the years go by, we mature. When we mature, we change our feelings and views about things. Failing to continue to get to know each other can result in feeling like strangers over time. Recommit to knowing each other.
3. Apologize and reconnect after an argument
All couples fight, argue, or disagree on important issues. If anger and hurt feelings have occurred, it is of utmost importance to repair fully the situation and get back to a place of feeling safe with each other again. Talk about feelings and what happened. If you are in constant conflict, emotional distance is inevitable. Speaking to a marriage counselor can help resolve serious and/or ongoing conflict.
Couples and marriage counseling in Montclair New jersey
Stevette Heylinger LPC is a licensed professional counselor specializing in marriage and couples counseling. Stevette works with couples looking to achieve emotional connection and rebuilding a relationship. If you are struggling in your relationship or if you are trying to rebuild trust after an affair, counseling can help.
If you would like to learn more you are welcome to call for a free consultation or book your first appointment. You can also be in touch by filling out the contact form.Please share this post!